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Mall Santas rock! (wet lap? no problem)
We are big believers in the Big Man — that’s Santa Claus to most of you — at our house.
The 13-year-old wouldn’t dream of spoiling the legend for his younger sibs (it’s the chivalry in him). The 11-year-old has been warned that as soon as she questions his existence, her pile under the tree will magically grow smaller. And the 4-year-old is just enjoying the ride.
Call me sappy if you want, but I truly believe in the miracles of Christmas.
This does not, however, extend to shopping mall frenzy that many moms succumb to this time of year. In fact, I had been able to avoid the malls for three years running. But that came to a screeching halt last weekend when we were visiting out-of-state friends. A lovely and talented young lady who’s like a daughter to me was filling in as one of Santa’s elves, so I broke down and lined up with my youngest behind the velvet ropes outside Macy’s and waited.
![mms_picture[1].jpg](http://alt.coxnewsweb.com/shared-blogs/dayton/mommy/upload/2009/12/mall_santas_roc/mms_picture%5B1%5D.jpg)
And waited. And waited.
From our spot alongside Santa’s stage, we couldn’t see what the bleepin’ holdup was, so I texted Hubby, who was waiting out front with camera at the ready. Here is his reply:
“some boy peed on santas lap. for real. elf said it happens a bunch.”
So funny I had to spread the news in a whisper to the antsy moms nearby. It was like a scene from David Sedaris’ “SantaLand Diaries,” an uproarious tale about the dark side of mall Santas. (It is definitely not G-rated.)
With that bit of insider knowledge, the parental tensions eased as we shared a knowing wink.
A few moments later, Santa rounded the corner from his dressing room, gave his fresh pair of trousers a final adjustment tug, and headed for his throne.
He invited the dozen or so kids in line to grab a set of jingle bells from a basket and join him on stage to “make it snow.” Then Our Favorite Elf led the youngsters in a few holiday songs, and much to the crowd’s delight, soap-bubble “flakes” started falling from above. Pure magic!
And even though we hadn’t purchased an Exclusive Holiday Photo Package ($19.99 for two 5x7s was the cheapest available!), Santa gave my little boy plenty of one-on-one time and listened to his Christmas list. (Meanwhile, we’re snapping photos like mad.)
He left The Lap with an “I made it snow” sticker, a free reindeer hat, and a happy memory for all of us.
Permalink | Comments (2) | Post your comment | Categories: Christmas, Funny stories, Photo of the Week, Things to Do
Comments
By LucyB
December 2, 2009 6:57 PM | Link to this
Dear Soggy: LOL! Thanks for sharing!
By soggy santa
December 2, 2009 2:54 PM | Link to this
I’m a member of the Santa PPP club (peed, pooped & puked).