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Many parents would like to assume their soon-to-be college freshman will never party, have sex or wash their new red shirt in a load of whites. But college life can be full of surprises for both parents and students. To make sure your teenager is armed with all the knowledge you can give, it may be time for a few lessons in love, laundry and life outside the nest.

1. Laundry, dishes, and the effects of not doing either.

Believe it or not, your 18-year-old may not know that the lint catcher in the dryer needs changed or that their size four Hollister jeans won't make it through the dryer and back on. It's time to let them in on your secrets. Even if they roll their eyes through a laundry lesson, they'll be a step ahead when they first decide to clean some clothes halfway through the semester. Dishes in a dorm room can be tricky, as most aren't equipped with sinks. In college, notebook paper becomes a perfectly acceptable plate, and paper towels solve all problems. Plan accordingly when you try to send half of your mother's antique dish set with them.

2. Ramen noodles and good coffee.

Most college freshmen have some system resembling a meal plan. After eight weeks of corn flakes, pizza lunches and rubbery chicken, the same dining hall can get monotonous. Give your teen a few of your recipes modified for a microwave. Send a few packs of instant coffee and the quintessential 34-cent pack of ramen noodles. All you need is hot water for each, which is the one ingredient most dorms do have.

3. Give them the tools, let them do the job.

Imagine life without a can opener, a good pair of scissors, a hammer, jumper cables, a spare car key or a pencil sharpener. Your teen will be doing just that for the first month of school without the everyday appliances you had around the house that they didn't think to bring. Sticking a box under your child's extra long twin bed labeled "appliances" may seem superfluous until your teen realizes they can't open a Chef Boyardee with their fingernails.

4. Just how many drinks is a "couple".

It may be uncomfortable. They may not seem to listen. But teaching your child how many shots of Smirnoff will land them in their bed versus a hospital bed could be the difference between a fun night out and a 2 a.m. phone call home.

Start with amount. Guys, larger people, and those who ate dinner versus a piece of fruit after class can drink more. Don't assume your child knows this, but use their reaction as a guide. Most teens have at least tried alcohol, if not gotten a little tipsy before their first college semester. Explain what happens for their school career and with the law if they get caught drinking underage. One piece of advice: the less preachy the better — or they may tune you out.

Author and parenting expert Jody Johnston Pawel encourages parents to model responsible use or abstinence.

"To make an educated decision, teens also need to know the down side of drinking: hugging toilets, hangovers, lost work time, poor decisions and regrettable behavior," said Pawel, a licensed social worker from Southwest Ohio, parenting columnist for 937moms.com and the president of Parent's Toolshop Consulting, Ltd.

Pawel also recommends taking a firm stand on not "rescuing" teens from negative consequences of their actions.

5. Homework: A necessity or just a suggestion?

Remind your child that you were, believe it or not, a 20-year-old college student once. You skipped classes, skimmed novels, and resold text books for date money. You can ease the academic transition to college by helping your teen anticipate an exam-driven system. There no longer are "homework points" — it is "assigned" whether it is checked or simply serves as a study aid.

Realize each college student has a different learning style. Some skip all the math assignments but spend two straight days locked in a library study room before a test and do great. Others need day-by-day practice. Understanding this from the start will ease your worries when your teen is either studying constantly or never cracking open a $150 text book.

6. Protected sex 101.

Like number four, the college edition of the birds and the bees talk is far from easy, but it really could matter later. Don't push for answers. Think information, not an interrogation. Teens lose their virginity on average at age 16, according to the U.S. Census. That means more likely than not, this conversation may already be two years overdue.

Stick to two main points: physical and emotional health (not in those words, or your teen will be asleep on the table). Birth control options are as diverse as condom styles today. Talk about options from the pill to condoms, sticking with terminology like "should you decide to..." Remind them that STDs are very real and that most have no cure. The old saying that you are in effect having sex with all of your partner's past partners usually hits home for teens.

Most parents never even attempt to talk to their child about the emotional side to sex which can — but doesn't always — change a relationship. More than ever, college students are "hooking up" or just having sex with no long-term intentions. Although it can be exciting, it can be just as confusing if either partner gets emotionally attached. Most importantly, make sure they know they can talk to you without judgment.

7. Street smarts: Mace, locks and the buddy system.

My freshman year of college, my mother bought and taught me how to use a key chain-size mace. Although I've luckily never had to use it (save the intelligent 19-year-old guy who wanted to "see what it felt like on his arm"), it has made me feel more secure more than once. Whether it's defense spray, a rape whistle or a cell phone, help your teen establish some sort of defense system.

College dorm rooms are hardly ever locked. Everyone knows it, including drunk upperclassmen and amateur criminals snatching laptops. Invest in a computer lock, and make sure they lock their door every night. The tried and true buddy system may be the best safety rule. Freshmen like to travel in large groups but scatter throughout the night to different parties and home to different places. Most schools have a nighttime van or driving service for free, such as the University of Dayton's "Mom's Limo" that will drive kids anywhere at night.

8. Take a night off. Just not every night.

The key to a happy college kid is balance — the right amount of time with friends, family, a significant other, school work, extracurriculars and down time. Parents can get caught up in the academics and not realize how their child is really doing overall. What parent really wants their child spending every moment with their nose in a book? Encourage them to join extracurricular activities right away, as belonging to a tight group can make a big school seem smaller.

J.P. Gregory of the University of Dayton's Campus Connection admission program encourages students to use college to better themselves on the whole and to prioritize.

"Try to meet as many people as you can and build a circle of friends," he said. Parents, and sometimes even students, need to realize that a balanced schedule is more important to creating a happy, successful young adult than a 4.5 GPA.

9. It's "not cool" to take parents' advice ...

... But they rely on it now more than ever.

College can be one of the most confusing times, and they will come home (or not) four years later reshaped by the experience. Regardless of whether they are under your roof, you are still the parent and most kids still will look to you for advice.

"(Students) always hear what parents say and pretend that they didn't. They say 'Gotcha Mom' or 'Sure Dad,' but they are really like 'That's good advice,'" Gregory said. He encourages parents to ask specific questions rather than "How was your day?" This can help them get more specific answers and stay in touch with their teenager.

Dr. Gregory Ramey, child psychologist at Children's Medical Center in Dayton, said parents by this point in their child's life have already made their mark.

"You've exerted the vast majority of influence by what you've said, done and the way you've acted... Relax, you've done your job," he said.

Ramey also says that many parents are easily fooled by an illusion teenagers put on, but that they are really as emotionally needy as the rest of us.

"They really still want their parents' love, attention and approval, just on their terms, not ours."

10. It's four whole years, but only four years.

It's called "the best four years of your life." This can seem like an eternity to a freshman, who may put off joining extracurriculars, taking the dreaded math requirement or studying abroad. The same student may hit junior year and realize — all of a sudden — that it's almost over. Anything you can do to help your student put the college years in perspective is helpful. Don't pressure a 19-year-old to choose a life-long career. Your student is just as confused about their major, personal identity, and future as ever. It may be frustrating as a parent to not have answers, but be patient and help them realize that you are always there for them.

Or at least until they are sixth-year-seniors.