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Y! MyWebI bet you can't top this worst pick-up line ever ...
Friday, April 25, 2008
Area bar-goers tell us their favorite lines
It was definitely the worst pick-up line in the history of humanity, but that wasn't the worst part ...
The somewhat strapping young man who delivered the line was not technically insane and what he gave me wasn't really a line. Shall I continue?
The story goes like this: My sister-in-law and I had been sitting at the maple bar only a few minutes when the "technically sane man" and his friend ambled up.
They were attractive enough, but the "pilot" and his loyal "wingman" had no chance of flying their planes down our runways. I am in a loving, long-term relationship, and my sister-in-law, of course, is married to my brother.
Anyway, we decided to play along. A girl can always use a free cocktail, and there's nothing criminal about harmless flirting.
The technically sane man, let's call him TSM for short, started in on me while his friend smiled broadly, revealing yellowish teeth to my sista-in-law.
Before they threw us the real pitch, they paid us a few bizarre and rather unimpressive compliments:
"You are wearing the hell out of that dress." I wasn't wearing a dress.
"I can't believe your man let you go out by yourself." No one lets me do anything.
"You smell nice." Well, I did smell rather lovely.
It all went downhill from there.
TSM: "You like Grey Goose?"
Me: "Yeah, it's OK."
TSM: "I got a bunch of weed in my car. I've got to go sell some. You want to buy us some drinks and then go smoke some weed with me?"
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Now as good as the offer was (OK, it was horrid), I rejected TSM soundly.
Sure, I was dumbstruck by this offer to participate in illegal activity with a broke stranger, but more than that, where was the creativity?
Where was the "Your pants must be made out of mirrors because I can see myself in them?"
Where was the "Someone farted, you want to get out of here?"
Where was the "Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night?"
Where was the "Is your dad a terrorist because you are the bomb?"
Where was the "Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package?"
Where was the "I am new in town, can you write down directions to your apartment?"
Where was the "I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!"
Where was the "I am a love pirate, turn over the booty, ARRGH!"
Nope, I got none of that.
No corn, no cheese, just an invitation to break the law with a really cheap creep of a drug dealer.
Yeah, no thanks.
CONTACT this columnist at (937) 225-2384 or arobinson@coxohio.com.
Comments
By Jealous
May 2, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this
Pot smokers aren’t interested in nonsense flirting games… they just want to smoke weed. Buying someone an expensive drink in exchange for smoking dealer-quality weed? Sounds like a fair trade to me.
Cities with any sense of progress have already decriminalized marijuana possession to the equivalent of a jaywalking offense. Lighten up, Dayton!
By uncoolio
April 30, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this
Whaat the hell is two married girls doing talking drinks and talking to single guys at a bar anyway. Are you so hard up for a FREE drink? Sounds very ghetto. Its not the guys that should be embarrased. Quote A girl could always USE A FREE COCKTAIL End quote. Theres a name for ladies like this. Excuse me,,,you can’t use the term ladies. If they will go to these legths for a free drink—-I hate to imagine what they would do for something of real value——your family must be proud.