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If wine were an Olympic sport …
I know, I know, we’re not supposed to have fun on a Monday. But ….
If wine were an Olympic Sport, what events would you create for it?
I’ve got an idea or two:
The cork pull: Similar to the clean-and-jerk of weightlifting, contestants would be given a standard waiter-style corkscrew and a case of wine closed by those nasty, fused-to-the-inside-of-the-bottle-neck artificial corks. First one to get all the bottles open without destroying the corkscrew wins the gold.
The wine marathon: No, this wouldn’t be a how-much-can-you-drink contest. Athletes would, however, have to taste, evaluate and describe the finer points of 30 Australian Shiraz — then read an issue of Robert Parker’s Wine Advocate cover-to-cover.
The grape stomp: Place two athletes — say, the winner of the men’s 100 meters and the Greco-Roman wrestling heavyweight champion — into two separate vats half-full of freshly harvested wine grapes. The first to stomp enough grapes to release five gallons of free-run juice wins the gold. Which would win?
The wine disguise: What would the Olympics be without an event that blends artistry with the foibles of human judges, a la gymnastics or figure skating? Each contestant would be given the contents of a standard travel suitcase and two bottles of wine. The contestant that uses the most creativity in disguising the bottles to get them through airport security wins the gold. Judges would be TSA agents.
How about you? What wine-themed Olympic events would you like to see?
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Comments
By Art
August 14, 2008 8:39 AM | Link to this
Re China Silk Wines: In celebration of the Beijing Olympics, Chin’s Ginger Grill, 965 W. Main, Tipp City, is featuring China Silk Wines, (including Dragon’s Kiss Riesling, Marco Polo Red (awarded a medal in the San Francisco International Wine Competition - up there on the podium for the Olympic sport of “wine”),and the Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon) for the duration of the Olympic Games, both by the glass and as a flight ($7). We also are serving an “Olympic” appetizer - Roasted Peking Duck Rolls with Orange~Hoisin Dipping Sauce. 937-667-6664.By chiefwino
August 12, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this
Not an event but an Olympics related topic, I came across a Chinese winery, from the Tian Shan Mountain region, this week at a local store (Class 6 at WPAFB). Called China Silk, they had a “Dragon’s Kiss Riesling” and the “Emeror’s Delight Rose (grape not identified)” both for ~$7. We sampled the Rose last night with sushi. A nice simple summer sipper with just a hint of sweetness, unusual orange tint in the glass. Paired nicely with the spicy tuna roll. Have not tried the Riesling yet. Check out their website. http://www.chinasilkwines.com/index.htmlBy Dave
August 12, 2008 8:50 AM | Link to this
Champagne corks can be popped for distance and for accuracy (i.e., hitting a target like a dartboard). And what about a snooty server competition? Or blind taste tests to identify where a grape was grown. The possibilities are endless!By S
August 11, 2008 5:35 PM | Link to this
How about a relay race? I mean not all wine drinking has to be sophisticated. Take a magnum (or maybe a regular 750ml - trials are necessary to test the ridiculousness of starting with a 1.5L bottle). 4 people. 4 x 400 yards. Bottle must be empty by the finish and held by each of the runners on their lap. No water. No cheese.By mel
August 11, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this
my favorite : spitting for distance load up one mouthful and see how far you can spit it. added points for hitting the spit bucketBy mecca
August 11, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this
No, Holly, they are to busy beginning their training regimes for the Games.By mecca
August 11, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this
I could care less what the events are…I would be the gold medalist in the Wine Olympic. Training would be a challenge…but I would be doing it for my country.By chiefwino
August 11, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this
Wine Triathalon - Follow the Dayton Wine trail on a given Saturday. Sample one red wine at each of 5 different locations (e.g. Cuvee, DLM, Arrow, Wine Gallery, Jays - only 1-DLM 1- Arrow allowed). Swirl, sniff, sip and spit. Write down the winery name, vintage, grape variety, and a comment about the wine. Turn in notes at Jay’s Kitchen door. Most coherent notes in shortest time wins. Points deducted for each red wine stain on your clothes. Bonus points awarded for obscure appellations or grape varieties.By holly
August 11, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this
Do people not proofread anymore?