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June 3, 2009 | Sir Critic on Cinema
 

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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A ____ movie? You’ve GOT to be kidding!

I just ran across proof positive Hollywood will make a movie out of just about anything, so long as its based on a comic book, TV show, game or toy with even a wee bit of nostalgia attached.

Universal is considering a movie based on … Stretch Armstrong!

Stretch Armstrong?

Stretch Armstrong???

STRETCH ARMSTRONG????!!!?!?!?!

Oh come ON! Guys, if you’re gonna go for old toys, Shogun Warriors would make a lot more sense.

The only way I’ll buy that premise is if it’s done Toy Story-style, where Stretch is a toy, but he doesn’t know it. So it really causes him a world of pain when his kid owner punctures him and some purplish-red goop comes out. Because this is how some toys, “bleed,” you see.

Ah, heck with it, even that idea is dumb. And I thought the Drop Dead Fred remake was a bad idea …

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