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Wednesday, September 3, 2008
A new Tarzan? AAA-AAAH-AAAAHHARRRRGGH!
Variety reports that a new Tarzan movie is on the way.
It’s not this news and of itself that upsets me. Yeah, the idea of a modern Tarzan film smacks of a studio suit somewhere saying “We have no new ideas. What franchise haven’t we raided in awhile? Ah ha! Tarzan!” Still, I think given the right director and cast, a new Tarzan movie could be fun.
We don’t know who will star as Tarzan yet, but we do know who’s in line to direct: Stephen Sommers.
Ooooohhhhhh …
… crud.
Sommers is one of my least favorite big blockbuster button pushers. No soul. I did like his 1998 Mummy movie, which was dumb fun, but The Mummy Returns was a textbook example of everything that’s wrong with Hollywood event movies: all noise, no inspiration.
Then he made Van Helsing, which made Mummy Returns look like Gunga Din. That vampire flick was everything that’s wrong with Hollywood event movies, multiplied by 100. Since I can usually find it for less than $10 unopened at video stores, I think most people would agree with me on that one.
Variety makes note of the fact that Guillermo del Toro had been attached to direct the new movie. I understand he’s off Hobbit-ting now, but darn - I would have much rather seen his take.
(Side note: I was disappointed to see that in its rundown of prior Tarzans, Variety completely overlooked the 1999 Disney version, the last great 2D Disney animated film. Oops.)
So I guess the question now is, will this movie be better or worse than Tarzan and the Lost City, starring Casper Van Dien? Place your bets now, folks!
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