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August summer movies: The Bourne Underdog Rush Hour
Usually when August rolls around, Hollywood sells a few big movies the first weekend of August, then gives up and goes back to the dreck. This year, however, August spreads the wealth a little, although there’s still plenty of dreck to wade through.
My earlier previews are here: May, June and July.
AUGUST 3
The lowdown: The title character becomes the resident therapist at his new school, where he is a student.
The buzz: Hope Davis and Robert Downey Jr. join a cast of unknowns. Doesn’t sound all that thrilling to me. Didn’t Charles Schulz already cover this territory when he invented Lucy’s psychiatry booth? Five cents, please.
The Outlook: C
The lowdown: Bourne comes back to New York, edging ever closer to finding out who he really is.
The buzz: Besides Matt Damon, Joan Allen and Julia Stiles return, but the return that most intrigues me is the return of Paul Greengrass, who made The Bourne Supremacy and the masterpiece United 93. I’m automatically in for anything he makes.
The Outlook: A
The lowdown: An accident-prone daredevil (Andy Samberg) plans to jump the Snake River on a moped in order to win over his emotionally distant stepfather (Ian McShane).
The buzz: No thanks. I saw Ghost Rider. That’s enough dopey two-wheeler movies for one year.
The Outlook: D
The lowdown: Disney’s annual later summer live action comedy takes the animated super mutt and makes him into a real dog. Hopefully not THAT kind of dog.
The buzz: Talk about iffy. This dredges up past memories of dopey cartoons-turned movies. Garfield and Scooby Doo come to mind. Still, I hold out a glimmer of hope that Jason Lee, Amy Adams and Peter Dinklage signed on because they actually liked the script, not because they wanted to placate their kids/nieces/nephews/siblings/godchildren.
The Outlook: B-
AUGUST 10
The lowdown: Yes, it’s based on the dolls. That’s all anyone needs to know.
The buzz: For easy-to-please children and undiscriminating moms everywhere. But hey, Paula Abdul’s in it!
The Outlook: F
The lowdown: Cuba Gooding Jr. whores himself again, this time as the poor man’s Eddie Murphy i.e. hapless dolt who gets kicked in the crotch repeatedly. Fred Savage (?!?!?!?!) directs.
The buzz: I loathed Daddy Day Care. Grace Kelly could rise from the dead, ask me for a date, and I STILL wouldn’t go.
The Outlook: F
The lowdown: Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker go to Paris! Ooo la la!
The buzz: The series feels increasingly unnecessary, but compared to most of the other releases this week, this looks like gold.
The Outlook: B
The lowdown: To win the heart of his beau Sienna Miller, Charlie Cross finds a falling star that looks a lot like Claire Danes. Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert De Niro play the nemeses. Based on a graphic novel.
The buzz: The dazzling trailer sold me on this one. Cast doesn’t hurt either. If Matthew Vaughn directs this with the same visual kick he gave to Layer Cake, this could be a sleeper hit.
The Outlook: A
AUGUST 17
The lowdown: Four guys and a girl plan to steal a print of The Phantom Menace from Skywalker Ranch so their dying friend can see it before its world premiere. Kristen Bell is the gal.
The buzz: The idea is certainly inspired, but rumor has it the execution went awry. Still, I’ll give it a shot.
The Outlook: B
The lowdown: Scientist Nicole Kidman tries to unearth the cause of an epidemic, finding that her son might have the only solution. Daniel Craig co-stars.
The buzz: The cast and the story, a riff on Invasion of the Body Snatchers, sound interesting enough, but the movie reportedly went through major rewrites and reshoots, with the director of V for Vendetta trying to salvage it. We’ll see if he succeeded.
The Outlook: B
The lowdown/buzz: A movie about anxiety caused by a kegger that goes bad doesn’t exactly ring the bell of this non-drinker. Some are saying this might work because Judd Apatow (The 40-Year-Old Virgin) produced it, but I would point out he did not write or direct.
The Outlook: C
The lowdown: Jason Biggs plays an amiable schmuck who impulsively proposes to Isla Fisher, the crazed girl from Wedding Crashers.
The buzz: Fisler’s presence is the only point of interest for me. That the director is Michael Ian Black conjured up endless flashbacks of “I Love (insert decade here)” on VH1. Bleah.
The Outlook: C
AUGUST 24
The lowdown/buzz: A college football coach with a lousy record tries to turn some scrappy newbies into the real deal. Gee, never seen THAT before. From the director of The Hot Chick. Yay.
The Outlook: D
The lowdown: Dane Cook discovers he’s the “gateway” guy for girls - meaning girls find “the one” after they ditch him. Will Jessica Alba break the curse?
The buzz: This has been called an attempt to make a Wedding Crashers-style hit, but saying Employee of the Month was “from the producers of Wedding Crashers” didn’t exactly help that film, did it?
The Outlook: D
AUGUST 31
The lowdown/buzz: Kevin Bacon stars in a remake of Death Wish from the diector of Saw. Erm. I’ll take six degrees of separation, please.
The Outlook: C
The lowdown/buzz: Rob Zombie redoes the John Carpenter classic. OK, so Zombie was a TCM host and made an amusing trailer for Grindhouse. That doesn’t make this movie a good idea. I still say, what’s the point?
The Outlook: C
Mr. Bean’ s Holiday The lowdown: Rowan Atkinson’s lovable/aggravated clown visits the French Riviera. Chaos ensues.
The buzz: Universal almost doesn’t need to release this movie here; it’s done phenomenal business overseas, routinely giving 300 a run for its money. Still, I’d much rather see this than Halloween. Atkinson is a riot in this part.
The Outlook: B for Bean.
So that’s the whole summer. Type to me and tell me what movies will make you run for the theater - and which will make you run for the hills.
Permalink | Comments (3) | Categories: Coming Attractions
Comments
By Deems
May 2, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this
Only thing that looks cool about the halloween flick is that it seems more grounded in reality opposed to the ancient druid priest-reincarnated whatever supernatual mumbo jumbo, crap.By Sir Critic
April 19, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this
I am indeed aware Zombie has made other movies. Still, that does not tell me that remaking “Halloween” is a a good idea - or that Zombie will bring anything to it besides graphic violence and a louder soundtrack. I may yet see the movie, but for now I’m not convinced that this trip is really necessay.By Rob
April 19, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this
Zombie’s done a bit more than just being a TCM host and doing a trailer in Grindhouse. He DOES have 2 films under his belt, whatever one might think of their quality.