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And the losers are …
Now that the Oscar nominations are out, it’s time to look at the other side of the coin: The worst films of the year, as determined by the Razzie awards.
Worst Picture
Basic Instinct 2 - Sony; Columbia - A.K.A. Basically, It Stinks, Too.
BloodRayne - Romar Entertainment
Lady in the Water - Warner Bros.
Little Man - Sony; Revolution
The Wicker Man - Warner Bros.
Since I can be selective in what I see, I usually avoid the obvious dreck. But I have had the distinct displeasure of seeing BloodRayne, and ye gods, what a steaming pile that is. It makes the dreadful “Lady in the Water” seem almost watchable. More on “BloodRayne” below. The more I think about the movie, the more I feel pressure building up in my brain. “Basic Instinct 2” will sweep a lot of the awards, I think.
Worst Actor
The Benchwarmers - Rob Schneider - Also for Little Man .
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector - Larry The Cable Guy - (Dan Whitney).
Little Man - Marlon Wayans; Shawn Wayans
Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause - Tim Allen- Also for The Shaggy Dog and Zoom .
The Wicker Man - Nicolas Cage
I’ve not seen any of these, but I’m most sick of Schneider. He hasn’t got a laugh out of me since the “copy guy” days on SNL.
Worst Actress
Basic Instinct 2 - Sharon Stone
BloodRayne - Kristanna Loken
Employee of the Month - Jessica Simpson
Just My Luck - Lindsay Lohan
Material Girls - Hilary Duff; Haylie Duff
I’ve only seen Loken’s performance, and I can’t get too worked up about her. She’s bad, sure, but I’m not sure Meryl Streep could have done anything with that script. Stone will win this.
Worst Supporting Actor
Basic Instinct 2 - David Thewlis
BloodRayne - Ben Kingsley
Deck the Halls - Danny DeVito
Lady in the Water - M. Night Shyamalan
Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause - Martin Short
They may pick on Shyamalan and his ego here, which would not be undeserved, but this call is easy. Did Kingsley lose a very large gambling bet or something?
Worst Supporting Actress
BloodRayne - Michelle Rodriguez
Date Movie - Carmen Electra - Also for Scary Movie 4 .
Deck the Halls - Kristin Chenoweth - Also for The Pink Panther and RV .
John Tucker Must Die - Jenny McCarthy
Superman Returns - Kate Bosworth
I cry foul at the inclusion of Chenoweth, who is truly a gifted performer. Her problem is she hasn’t gotten many movie roles that make good use of her talents. But she was hilarious in “RV” which I think critics piled on way too harshly. Rodriguez gets my vote, but Bosworth will probably win, not so much for bad acting as being badly miscast as Lois Lane.
Worst Director
Basic Instinct 2 - Michael Caton-Jones
BloodRayne - Uwe Boll
The Da Vinci Code - Ron Howard
Lady in the Water - M. Night Shyamalan
Little Man - Keenen Ivory Wayans
The best review line I heard was that Uwe Boll can’t direct like cats can’t drive and pigs can’t fly. It’s not a matter of opinion - Boll is simply incompetent. Shyamalan at least tried to be imaginative, as insufferable as his movie was. And although I think Rod Howard gets picked on far too much for not being an auteur, his inclusion here is, sadly, justified. He directed that slow slog of a movie as though he was stuck in a pit of quicksand.
Worst Screenplay
Basic Instinct 2 - Leora Barish; Henry Bean
BloodRayne - Guinevere Turner
Lady in the Water - M. Night Shyamalan
Little Man - Keenen Ivory Wayans; Marlon Wayans; Shawn Wayans
The Wicker Man - Neil LaBute
Some talented people lost their way in this category, but the most egregious offender is Turner. Her credits include “Go Fish” and “The Notorious Bettie Page.” Boll is not only a bad director, he’s a black hole - he sucks away the talent of anyone who comes within 50 yards of him.
Worst Remake or Rip-Off
Little Man
The Pink Panther
Poseidon
The Shaggy Dog
The Wicker Man
Question: Has a movie ever been nominated for a Razzie and an Oscar at the same time? “Poseidon” is up for visual effects at the Oscars. The trailers for “Little Man” annoyed me the most, so it gets my vote. It may win too.
Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment
Deck the Halls
Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties
RV
Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, The
The Shaggy Dog
I applaud an award to brain-dead entertainment that only succeeds in teaching kids terrible taste. And isn’t there an R missing from the first word of the title of “Deck the Halls?”
Worst Prequel or Sequel
Basic Instinct 2
Big Momma’s House 2
Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties
Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
“Instinct” will almost surely win this, but since there’s no danger of a third (I hope), I’d vote for “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” just to make a point about all these stupid remakes/prequels to legitimate horror movies. I spit at thee.
Worst Screen Couple
Basic Instinct 2 - Sharon Stone’s lop-sided breasts.
Little Man - Shawn Wayans and either Kerry Washington or Marlon Wayans.
Material Girls - Hilary Duff; Haylie Duff
Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause - Tim Allen; Martin Short
The Wicker Man - Nicolas Cage … and his bear suit.
The winner of this category ought to be a real hoot. Or two.
What do you all think of these awards? What are your picks? Are the Razzies picking on anything you like?
Permalink | Comments (2) | Categories: Movie awards
Comments
By SRCputt
January 24, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this
Having seen BloodRayne, where’s the supporting actor nod for Michael Madsen?By Allie D.
January 24, 2007 2:29 PM | Link to this
I am most chagrined at the absence of Silent Hill from ANY of these categories. WTF? I am hoping it’s because the film was so bad that it couldn’t even qualify for a Razzie. At any rate, I think that Rob Schnieder is up for a Lifetime Achievement Award.