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The First Sir Critic Awards
List after list of year-end film awards are rolling in, but I’d like to do something else besides just list best film, best actor, actress and all that.
There’s lots of material out there that’s due to be recognized, but why be dry about it? Why not add some color to it, like say, naming an award, Most Astounding Display of Producing a Film by Listening to Your Kids?
That would be “Lady in the Water,” and by that yardstick, we’re not talking about just GOOD movies here. So that ground laid, I present the first Sir Critic awards.
Better Than You’ve Heard: “Poseidon”.
Not as Great As They Say: “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (Yes, I’d rather watch “Poseidon.”)
Great Trailer, Lousy Movie: “The Black Dahlia”
Lousy Trailer, Great Movie: “World Trade Center”
Movie I Wish Audiences had More Courage to See: “United 93”
Best Shot: Leonardo DiCaprio sees multiple images of himself during the foot chase of “The Departed.”
Worst Shot: The views of Terry Bradshaw’s hindquarters in “Failure to Launch”
Most Unwelcome Sequel News: A movie version of “The Da Vinci Code” prequel, “Angels and Demons” was greenlit. Did anyone out there actually LIKE “Da Vinci Code”?
Best Car Chase: Denzel Washington with his vehicle and his time-travel helmet in “Déjà Vu”
Best Foot Chase: James Bond pursues a free-running baddie in “Casino Royale”
Best Proof that Some Haters on the Net are Really Stupid: Daniel Craig’s first performance as James Bond.
My Fellow Critics Were Too Kind: “Borat”
My Fellow Critics Were Too Harsh: “RV”
Best Quietly Subtle Performance That Got No Credit: Anne Hathaway, “The Devil Wears Prada”
Actress I Fell Hard for This Year: Maggie Gyllenhaal, based on “Stranger Than Fiction.”
Best Reason to Wish I Was Peter Sarsgaard: Maggie Gyllenhaal
Temporarily Departed Actress I Missed the Most: Rachel McAdams
Permanently Departed filmmaker I’ll Miss the Most: Robert Altman
“Departed” Scene-StealerI Loved the Most : Mark Wahlberg
What about y’all? What silly film awards would you like to give out?
Permalink | Comments (7) | Categories: Movie awards
Comments
By Allie D.
December 29, 2006 4:29 PM | Link to this
These are all great, Eric! I’ve got a few more: Worst Hair: Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code. Actor who was on the verge of over-exposure this year ala Jude Law a few years ago: Hugh JackmanBy SRCputt
December 29, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this
Best animated chase: Verne and RJ try and escape a playful dog in “Over the Hedge”By Kelle
December 28, 2006 1:06 PM | Link to this
Best movie with the worst ending: Broken Flowers I don’t tend to enjoy “artsy” movies that much but the subtleties of this movie were just fabulous and I was ticked off beyond belief at the end. I have a friend who says I just like “happy endings” which isn’t necessarily true, although I do enjoy a good happy ending, I don’t need one if the ending compliments the rest of the movie. This one just made me mad because I invested two hours of my time with no pay off at the end. ARGH!By Zack
December 28, 2006 2:43 AM | Link to this
Better Than You’ve Heard: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift //Not as Great As They Say: Flags of Our Fathers// Great Trailer, Lousy Movie: The Fountain// Lousy Trailer, Great Movie: Running Scared// Movie I Wish Audiences had More Courage to See: The New World// Best Shot: The title card of The Departed// Worst Shot: Every frame of Date Movie// Most Unwelcome Sequel News: Pretty much every other movie I hate will have a sequel// Best Car Chase: See The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift// Best Foot Chase: The parkour sequence from Casino Royale// Best Proof that Some Haters on the Net are Really Stupid: Daniel Craig’s dynamite performance as 007// My Fellow Critics Were Too Kind: United 93// My Fellow Critics Were Too Harsh: The DaVinci Code// Best Quietly Subtle Performance That Got No Credit: Brandon Routh, Superman Returns// Actor I Fell Hard for This Year: Gael Garcia Bernal// Best Reason to Wish I Was Peter Sarsgaard: His unbelievable acting ability// Temporarily Departed Actress I Missed the Most: Rachel McAdams// Permanently Departed filmmaker I’ll Miss the Most: Robert Altman// “Departed” Scene-Stealer I Loved the Most: Mark WahlbergBy Mark
December 27, 2006 9:29 PM | Link to this
Hmm. You didn’t like “Pirates”? While I admit it didn’t live up to expectations it was certainly worth going out of your way to see, IMHO. My only problem is the “to be continued” ending, the conclusion to which we have to wait quite a while for. I didn’t see “Poseidon” so I can’t comment on the comparison. Love the awards, though. Keep up the good work.By SRCputt
December 27, 2006 2:43 PM | Link to this
Happiest remake news: The remake of Revenge of the Nerds got cancelled after a couple of weeks’ shooting.By SRCputt
December 27, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this
Best scene: Jennifer Hudson performing “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” in Dreamgirls. Worst scene: The finale of Lady in the Water Best chemistry: Zooey Deschanel and Justin Bartha, Failure to Launch Worst chemistry: Matthew McConnaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker, Failure to Launch