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March 2006
Ice Age: The Meltdown (More Scrat!)
Well, Ice Age: The Meltdown gets one thing right about that frigid time period: this lame sequel moves about as fast as a glacier.
I enjoyed the original Ice Age, even though it was more a derivative mix of Looney Tunes, Pixar and DreamWorks movies than anything truly original. The prehistoric characters were well voiced by Ray Romano, Denis Leary and especially John Leguizamo, who are all back this time, and it was fun to hear them play off of each other.
Ice Age: The Meltdown, however, isn’t even an effective clone of the first movie. The sequel makes the colossal mistake of making the characters go off on their own separate little adventures, which evaporates the chemistry that made Ice Age fun.
As seems to be the case with all prehistoric animated features, the animals are facing the threat of death unless they move somewhere else. As the title suggests, the ice is melting, which will flood the valley the animals live in, so they have to find safe harbor.
Along the way, Manny is thrilled to meet a female mammoth named Ellie, voiced by Queen Latifah. There’s just one little problem. Having been raised by a family of possums, Ellie thinks she’s one too.
You read that right, folks. A two-ton wooly mammoth thinks she’s a two-pound possum, which adds up to a trunkload of malarkey.
Steve Martin got away with thinking he was born a poor black child in The Jerk, but he had the comic talent to pull it off. Queen Latifah’s voice can’t make the joke work, nor can the animators or writers. Maybe Ellie can hang from a tree, but I couldn’t suspend my disbelief. This gag is an insult to the intelligence of anyone over the age of 6.
Now, I know what some people will say. C’mon, Eric, it’s a cute movie for little kids, not crabby critics. Lighten up.” I’d like to, but if the movie is really for little kids, why did the writers include sly sexual innuendo between Manny and Ellie, thus earning the movie a PG-rating?
I’m sure the filmmakers wanted to include some gags aimed at parents, but this is a movie for undiscriminating children to enjoy, and for the adults who accompany them to endure.
As much as I advocate seeing movies theatrically, I admit home video has a distinct advantage when moves are bad: fast-forwarding to the good parts.
This movie has one saving grace, and it’s the same character that was the highlight of the first Ice Age: Scrat, the little saber-toothed squirrel. His imaginative misadventures in chasing his elusive acorn are hilarious and a welcome break from the tedium. This is where the chapter-skip button will come in handy.
If they must make Ice Age: The Meteor, I suggest they make Scrat the star. GRADE: C-
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‘Dallas’ saved?
The IMDB’s celebrity news feed says that director Robert Luketic has bailed on directing the movie version of Dallas I blogged about earlier.
If Betty Thomas does replace him, as the item suggests, then I reverse my prediction of dread. Thomas also made The Brady Bunch Movie, which blindsided me with its hilarious satire.
If she can bring the same spirit of invention to Dallas, it just might work.
New in Theaters: Icy Instincts and more
ATL: No, it’s not a movie about automated teller machines with a typo in the title, but an homage to roller rinks with a hip-hop edge.
Basic Instinct 2: Anyone else find it amusing that a sequel to a movie that prominently featured an ice pick comes out the same day as the Ice Age sequel?
Ice Age: The Meltdown: Manny and his pals return, minus most of their wit. Thank god for Scrat.
Slither: Certainly a better title than “AAAAHHHH! Wait, what ARE those things?”
Permalink | Comments (1) | Categories: In Area Theaters
Moviegoing with children: It CAN be done
In my post about the virtues of seeing movies in theaters, a reader named Derwood said this might not be so feasible for families with children. He wrote:
“It is impossible to get into the theater without going near the concession stand. Even if I do manage to go through the gauntlet of bright lights, smells, etc.. I still pay more to take my family to a movie in the theater than I do by purchasing the DVD. And, with my 52�? high definition TV, progrssive-scan DVD player, 5.1 surround sound, and comfy chairs and couches, my home is a far better place to watch the movie (multiple times if we are so inclined). No crowds to navigate. And, our popcorn is much healthier and cheaper.”
Derwood makes a good point. I am a single guy, and it is fair to say that my suggestions work best (economically, anyway) for singles or small groups. I understand that a trip to the theater with a few children in tow can put a serious dent in your wallet. For many people, it’s not easy.
That said, I maintain that seeing movies in theaters is worth at least the occasional dent. Home theater systems are great (I have one too), but even the ritziest equipment can’t recreate the buzz and atmosphere of a real theater. And that’s an experience every child should have as often as possible.
But you don’t have to take a single guy’s word for it. My best friend, Scott Copeland, is every bit the movie buff I am, and he has four kids to look after. Here’s his take:
“Eric’s main thesis in these articles is that a theater is the best place to see a movie. I support that. As to going with families, I still support that, and as a father of four, I do know this area.
“Most of Eric’s tips still work for families. Sitting closer to the screen gives your kids an experience they can’t get at home. Is it more expensive? Sure. It’s better, and better experiences often cost more.
“But the theatrical experience is a special one. My 7 year old son still treasures when just he and I went to Rugrats Go Wild together, and still talks about it, even though he’s seen it plenty on video. And even though my 13 year old watches the Harry Potter movies frequently, she’s still jumping to see them when they play in theatres.
“It’s important to realize with children, it’s the trip that matters as much as the movie. They get to go out with mommy and/or daddy, and that is something special in itself.
“With that in mind, here’s some tips:
“Avoid the concession stand. You don’t have to go there. Have a plan B. Promise them a treat at home. Or with the really big movies, go out to eat at the restaurant that has the tie-in with the movie you just saw or are about to see.
“Go early. Eric’s tips about matinees apply. Second run is acceptable. The younger kids won’t know the difference, and the older ones won’t mind if it’s a film they want to see.
“Drive-ins are fun. Many of them allow kids in free. You pack them in the car, bring lawn chairs, and they love it. Seeing a movie under the sky is a special experience. Sure, the sound isn’t that great, but the screen is huge, and much more involving then the TV.
“Watch for summer programs. Many theatres now have summer programs of second run and older films for families. Also, both Dayton and Columbus have classic movie series, many of which are appropriate for children. My daughter loved going to Columbus last year to see A Hard Day’s Night, and the year before that to see Superman (Christopher Reeve version).
(Eric interjects: This is an excellent point. Kids get into classics more than you might suspect. I know quite a few who love Singin’ in the Rain.)
“Is there some value in movies at home? Sure. I have hundreds of movies at home, and I do try to enrich my children’s life with new and different experiences. But enriching their life also means sometimes forking over the extra money to take them to the theatre.”
Permalink | Comments (2) | Categories: Moviegoing
How to cheapen and enrich moviegoing
Since I so strongly endorsed seeing movies in a theater, some of you might be wondering how I put up with the prices, the talkers, the commercials and all those things that can make a night at the movies a real hazard.
Some of you might guess it’s because I’ve gone to a lot of free preview screenings, but that’s not the case. Long before I was reviewing for the Middletown Journal, I was seeing more than 100 films a year in theaters.
But since I have gone that often, I’ve developed a few tips and tricks that have made frequent moviegoing fun.
Eat before or after the movie, NOT during it: I know that for some people, popcorn and the movies go together like peanut butter and jelly, Tom and Jerry or Ben and Jerry. But the prices! As Doctor McCoy always said on Star Trek, “My god, man!” A plain hot dog $3.25? SMALL popcorn $3.75?? I refuse to pay it on principle, even if I’m starving. Besides, too much of that artificial butter-flavored grease will kill you.
Don’t be afraid of the sun: Fridays and Saturdays will always be big date nights, but you’ll save a lot of money if you go to the last matinee and then do dinner afterwards, thereby avoiding concessions and that butter-flavored grease. Crowds are usually a little thinner around 4 or 5 p.m. as well.
Don’t be afraid to run a little late: This way, you’ll miss at least a few of the annoying big-screen commercials, but to their credit, some area theaters have had their advertised start times reflect when the previews start, as opposed to the TV ads.
Get closer: I don’t understand why so many people like to sit so far back. That defeats one of the main benefits of theaters: the big picture. Here’s a tip I picked up in film class. Sit close enough so that the movie screen occupies the majority of your field of vision and you see as little of the sides as possible. In most places with stadium seating, this no longer means craning your neck really high. As an added bonus, it becomes easier to tune out gabbers, cell phones, unruly kids and the like.
Stay later: So many people make a mad dash for the doors when the credits roll that it becomes a pain to leave the theater, to say nothing of navigating the parking lot. I always stay until the credits are finished. Yes, it takes a little extra time, but you never know what you might catch. I bet most people don’t know about the joke tacked on to the very end of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
The End.
No projectionists were harmed in the typing of this post. They’re usually not up in the booth anyway.
Anyone else have any advice to make modern moviegoing better?
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Home (Re) Viewing: Memoirs of a Gorilla
King Kong: Yes, it was too long, and the journey to Skull Island in particular could stand to be tightened, but I don’t care — no other film from last year so powerfully reminded me of why I love the movies. Peter Jackson’s unbridled glee at filming his dream project is so palpable, that even when the movie is particularly indulgent, it’s still fun. And when the movie works, it is electrifying. With all due love and respect to Reese Witherspoon, Naomi Watts was last year’s best actress, giving this Kong an emotional pull that was even stronger than the original’s. GRADE: A+
Memoirs of a Geisha: If movies only had to be concerned with appearances, this would have been the best film of last year. Geisha looks positively gorgeous, with lush photography, impressive sets and dazzling costumes. It’s just missing one little thing: a reason to care. Ziyi Zhang, Michelle Yeoh and Gong Li do their best to infuse the film with some passion, but director Rob Marshall paces the movie leadenly and is so caught up with exteriors that I was never drawn into the story. It becomes not much more illuminating than a visit to the Japan pavilion at Disney’s EPCOT. GRADE: C-
(DATE CHANGE: Fun with Dick and Jane was erroneously placed on the DVD schedule I consulted last week. It has been rescheduled for April 11.)
Also out today:
Get Rich or Die Tryin’: 50 Cent tries and fails to score his own 8 Mile.
A Sound of Thunder: One of two recent Ben Kinglsey movies no one saw, the other being Bloodrayne. Somewhere, Gandhi is shaking his head sadly.
Stay: The mainstream Naomi Watts movie from last year no one saw.
Permalink | Comments (1) | Categories: On Video/DVD
In defense of movie theaters
In the Los Angeles Times, director/film historian Peter Bogdanovich has written an eloquent and saddening tribute to what is becoming an increasingly rare experience: seeing a movie in a theater.
This won’t be yet another of the mind-numbing analyses of why theatrical attendance has diminished over time. Instead, I hope to remind people of just what they’re missing by seeing most movies on TV these days.
It goes without saying that theaters generally provide a bigger picture and better sound, but with super-duper home theater systems becoming increasingly affordable, that argument is losing its weight.
No matter. I don’t care how many feet across the TV screen is, how many watts of power the sound system uses, how many speakers there are, how the subwoofer can be felt in China or how much the darn thing costs. No home theater can match the real deal. It’s simply impossible.
I mean, think about it. How many memorable experiences have you had in a movie theater? Here is a mere handful of mine:
Watching The Adventures of Robin Hood and hearing hundreds of older moviegoers applaud every time Errol Flynn bounded on to the screen - which was a lot.
Seeing Schindler’s List for the first time in an absolutely packed house - and no one made a sound afterward.
Feeling the air go out of the theater when Darth Vader said, “No. I am your father.” And I remember that even though I already knew the surprise because I’d read the comic book adaptation first. I’m still kicking myself.
Now - how many memorable experiences have you had watching a movie at home? Not nearly as many, I’d wager. I can count mine on one hand.
Think of it this way: What’s really more fun? Watching a laugh-out-loud comedy like Wedding Crashers at home with a few buddies? Or seeing it in a theater with hundreds of people laughing?
After all — most people can remember the first time they took their child to a movie theater. How many people really remember the first time they showed him or her a tape or a DVD?
But Eric, you respond. It’s so expensive to go to the movies these days. And there are all the commercials and people talking and cell phones ringing. How do you deal with that?
I’ll have some answers coming soon to a Web page near you.
For now, please share. What are some of your favorite moviegoing experiences?
Permalink | Comments (3) | Categories: Moviegoing
20,000 Leagues’ Richard Fleischer, 1916-2006
Director Richard Fleischer has passed away at the age of 89.
What a fascinating career he had. The son of the animator Max Fleischer, who made the Betty Boop and early Popeye shorts, he’s best remembered for two genuine sci-fi classics, 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea and Fantastic Voyage, but he also directed big-studio gloss ranging from the American portions of Tora Tora Tora to Doctor Dolittle. (Some worked, some didn’t.)
Then there are cult favorites like Soylent Green and Mr. Majestyk, the latter of which starred the late Monroe actor Taylor Lacher. (The poster for this Charles Bronson vehicle can be spotted in Kill Bill Vol. 2, in Bud’s trailer just before the big girl-on-girl swordfight.)
His late career was marked by what could charitably called the stylish trash of The Jazz Singer, Conan the Destroyer and Red Sonja, but his sci-fi hits have earned him a soft spot in the hearts of geeks everywhere.
PS It’s not strictly movie-related, but now also seems a good time to mark the passing of Buck Owens, who wrote one of the best movie-related tunes of all, “Act Naturally.” (Might win an Oscar, you can never tell/The movie’s gonna make me a big star/”Cos I can play the part so well).
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Inside Man: 2006’s first great movie
Last week, V for Vendetta made its mark as the first important movie of 2006, but this week the masked avenger bows down to the first great movie of 2006: the crackling bank heist thriller, Inside Man.
Who knew that the fearsome V, armed to the teeth with explosives that level London’s landmarks (ah, alliteration) could be toppled by mere bank robbers? Actually, it’s not that hard to predict when you consider the marquee: Denzel Washington. Jodie Foster. Clive Owen. Christopher Plummer.
Then there’s the pedigree: Inside Man owes a great deal to Dog Day Afternoon, one of the best bank heist movies ever made. Not only is that movie referenced in the dialogue, but the scrawny kid that delivered the pizza to Al “Attica!� Pacino also delivers pie in this movie.
Then there is the most important name of the lot – one that is all but buried in some of the ads: Director Spike Lee.
I can understand why Universal has sometimes hidden his name. For better or worse, Lee is best known for his powerful and often controversial statements on race in movies like Do the Right Thing, Malcolm X and Bamboozled.
Inside Man ought to remind people that Lee’s best weapon is not his mouth, but his eye. Since he did not originate this project, he brings very little baggage to it, which allows him to have fun ratcheting up the tension.
Lee’s dramatic camera angles, darting pans and fast (but not too fast) editing enveloped me in the story, which is almost as clever as the villains’ plan. The mastermind (Owen) seizes control of a Manhattan bank with a diabolical strategy: he dresses the hostages in the same uniforms the robbers wear, which will make it difficult for police to know who’s who when or if they storm the bank.
It’s up to detective Denzel to crack the case, but he has to deal with more than the robbers. The oily bank president (Plummer) dispatches his negotiator (Foster) to protect his interests in the vault – and they’re not entirely financial.
Lee’s savvy direction adrenalizes the action, aided and abetted by his stellar cast and a whip-smart screenplay, which is all the more impressive considering it comes from a first-time writer, Russell Gewirtz. He, Lee and the cast give fascinating shades to the main characters.
The results are two-fold: the story becomes even more involving, and it allows these great actors to shine, particularly in the one-on-one scenes. It is absolutely delicious to watch Washington vs. Owen, Owen vs. Foster, Foster vs. Washington, etc. – and everybody wins.
The energy during the heist is so powerful that I was a little sorry at first that it dissipated in the third act, which piles on multiple endings – until Lee and company pull a few rabbits out of their hats to bring it all back home. It goes out not with a bang, but with a wow.
Some reviews will say that this is “just� a well-done heist movie, but Inside Man does what a great genre thriller should: It takes old formulas and makes them feel new again.
Or, to put it in Spike-speak: I dig. Sho ‘nuff.
GRADE: A
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Opening Friday: Inside Man, Stay Alive, Larry the Cable Guy
Friday’s new movies bring a bank heist thriller, a teen horror thriller (Yes, ANOTHER one) and a visit from the cable guy that is not Jim Carrey. Looks like one out of three will have to do.
Inside Man: This movie uses pretty simple math as its lure. Denzel Washington + Jodie Foster + Clive Owen x director Spike Lee= I’m so there. Review forthcoming Friday.
Larry the Cable Guy - Health Inspector: This may be the world’s most contradictory title the way Ernest Scared Stupid was redundant, because I am thoroughly sick of the phrase “Git R Duuunnnn!” Git me to Cars’ release date! I’m willing to put up with Larry in a Pixar movie.
Stay Alive: Time for more movie math: Frankie Muniz + teen horror=what the hey? The tagline of the movie is “You Die in the Game, You Die for Real.” Hmmm….nah, doesn’t remind me of The Matrix at all.
Permalink | Comments (1) | Categories: In Area Theaters
Premiere: They coulda been contendahs
Fellow blogger Ron Rollins has done a fine job highlighting Premiere’s list of the 100 greatest performances of all time.
But now comes the real fun of debating these lists: talking about who was left out.
The magazine never lists any rules for its list, but it seems two were followed: No actor can have more than two performances on the list, and no film can be mentioned more than once.
The first rule leads to some heartbreakers like Bogart being tapped for The Maltese Falcon and The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (both fine choices), but not his most famous role in Casablanca. Or Brando being tapped for Last Tango in Paris and On the Waterfront, (again, both excellent), but not for his iconic turn in The Godfather or his work in A Streetcar Named Desire, which marked a seismic shift in acting from theatrical technique to The Method.
The second rule means that while Jack Lemmon gets some deserved recognition for his side-splitting work in Some Like It Hot, that leaves Marilyn Monroe, one of the most potent symbols of Hollywood, with the fuzzy end of the lollipop, and nary a mention on the list.
In fact, sexy performances were by and large ignored. I certainly would have found a spot for Grace Kelly’s performance in Rear Window, which features the greatest female entrance of all time, bar none.
Villainy was ranked far too low on the list, with Anthony Hopkins’ indelible Hannibal Lecter coming in at a measly number 70, while Norman Bates AKA Anthony Perkins was missing. Maybe mother, what’s the phrase … wasn’t quite herself that day.
On the other side of the coin, a key hero is missing as well: 007. I would have tapped Sean Connery in Dr. No, since that set the mold.
With the exception of Judy Garland in A Star is Born, musical performers were shamefully ignored. That means no nominations for Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Gene Kelly or Julie Andrews. So I guess being “practically perfect in every way� isn’t enough.
And speaking of Judy, it’s too bad Premiere ghettoized kids’ performances into a sidebar. And even there, her performance as Dorothy is not mentioned. Why, oh why can’t I indeed.
A good number of comedic performances were tapped, but like most of these lists, the weight leans toward drama. If Premiere wanted to be really bold, they would have included Robin Williams’s best performance, even though it only features his voice: the genie in Aladdin.
And some giants are missing as well. NOTHING for Clark Gable? Or Sean Penn, considered by many to be the greatest contemporary actor? Citizen Kane is considered one of the greatest films of all time, but Orson Welles’ performance is not?
Finally. Joe Pesci isn’t exactly a giant, but what about his performance in GoodFellas? That’s funny. I mean, what isn’t great about that, Premiere? Is he a clown? Didn’t he amuse you?
Well, who knows? Considering that Tom Cruise ranked third in Premiere’s ridiculous list of the greatest stars of all time last year, but is nowhere to be found on the performances list, maybe Premiere folds under questioning.
How about you, folks? Which of your favorites was snubbed?
Permalink | Comments (4) | Categories: Lists
Can we date?
So would you answer Joan Rivers’ personal ad? And if so, how?
Like Dot used to say on Animaniacs. “I’m not touchin’ that one!” So I leave it to you to insert your own jokes here. Fire at will, readers! Or at Joan, for that matter.
Permalink | Comments (2) | Categories: Celebrities
Cracked quote
I found this doozy of a quote in a USA Today story on the state of movie theaters.
“The movie business is a little like the drug business,” says Greg Laemmle, president of Laemmle Theaters, which operates 16 theaters in Southern California.
“We are the pushers, and our customers are the users. Even if business is good, you have to keep giving people what they want.”
Considering the quality (cough) of movies this year, that gives a whole new meaning to the term drug abuse, doesn’t it?
Permalink | Comments (2) | Categories: Sir Critic muses
Home (Re) Viewing: The Sky is Falling in Cold Blood
This week’s video releases offer an eclectic mix of animation, terrorism, loads of chorus girls and more. Betcha never expected that combination!
Capote: Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Oscar-winning performance as the author of In Cold Blood is so eerily convincing that the movie is always fascinating as the author becomes embroiled in the events that led to his most famous book. My only major misgiving was that it was a little too, well …cold in the end. I didn’t get enough of a sense of how these events changed him. Still, as a snapshot of a particular time, it’s quite evocative. The 1967 movie that was made of the book is even better. GRADE: A-
Chicken Little: Was Disney’s first all-CGI movie as good as any of Pixar’s movies? Of course not. Was the comparison fair? Of course not. A more appropriate comparison would have been to The Emperor’s New Groove, which was also directed by Mark Dindal. Both movies are somewhat uneven yet sometimes hilarious, with a more madcap style than typically seen in Disney. As an added bonus, it makes American Idol contestant Kevin Covais look even sillier, and that’s an achievement. GRADE: B+
Fun with Dick and Jane: You know a movie is in serious trouble when it takes forever to arrive at its main joke. The movie is supposedly about Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni turning into thieves after Carrey loses his job, but it’s almost half over before the first robbery takes place. Carrey and the criminally underused Leoni are good for a few laughs, but the misbegotten Enron spoof sputters and bogs the whole movie down. GRADE: C
Paradise Now: This searing drama tries to understand the mindset of terrorism, and remarkably does so on a rather intimate scale. The film examines what might be the last hours of two would-be terrorists to intense, sobering effect. It doesn’t make terrorism more understandable — I don’t think any movie could — but it does show how someone can believe it’s the only way to solve a problem. It’s a frightening movie that could also be a valuable one. GRADE: A
The Squid and the Whale: Every year there is at least one movie that critics praise to the skies, while I am left to wonder what the weather’s like up there. I understand what writer-director Noah Baumbach was going for with his autobiographical story of a family disintegrating — I just found the journey unbearable. Yes, I understand that the divorcing parents (Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney) are supposed to be stuck-up twits, but since every character is clueless, shrill, or a selfish boor (or bore), I found no one to root for. Consequently, the film ends up becoming what it decries. I was very glad to be done with these pompous people when the credits rolled. GRADE: C-
FROM THE CATALOG
The Busby Berkeley Collection: I know that musicals of the early 1930s aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but even the most jaded, cynical viewer ought to be wowed by the surreal, kaleidoscopic musical numbers staged by this master stylist. Before MGM became king of the genre, Berkeley was the first director to make musicals specifically for the camera. The five movies here are chock full of numbers that are still stunning 70-odd years later. And there’s an ingenious bonus: a whole disc devoted just to the numbers. Who needs LSD with visions like this?
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The Invisible Sci-Fi box office!
With the news that 2001 star Keir Dullea AKA Dave, will appear in Middletown in June, now seems like a good time to revisit some recent sci-fi movies that were unjustly overlooked and/or misunderstood.
While 2001 is considered a classic now (and is one of the very best films ever made, in my opinion), acclaim was not so universal when it came out in 1968. Revered critic Pauline Kael called it “the biggest amateur movie of them all.� But then again, she pretty much hated anything Stanley Kubrick directed, so what did she know?
Here are five science fiction films I feel were not given their due. Again, in (mostly) alphabetical order:
Mars Attacks!: Tim Burton’s spoof of cheesy 50s sci-fi alien invasion movies was greeted with a collective “Wha??� when it was released. Sure, it was kinda odd (what Burton movie isn’t?), but I thought it was an absolute hoot, and 100 times more fun than Independence Day turned out to be. And no matter what you think of the movie, you have to admit, it features the all-time most original way to destroy Martians. Ack ACK Ack ack!
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: I have taken a lot of heat for daring to put this on my 10 best list for 2004. May the haters all be zapped! I don’t care what anyone says; I thought this dazzlingly retro fantasy was nirvana. I’ve rarely had so much fun just looking at a movie (the Wizard of Oz scene alone is worth the rental), and director Kerry Conran’s love of classic cheesy pre-50s sci-fi was infectious.
Solaris: Steven Soderbergh’s remake of a Russian sci-fi film was burdened with the double albatross of having a story that didn’t always explain what it meant, and of being mis-sold by 20th Century Fox, a studio that has a tragic record of misrepresenting its movies. (Exhibit A: In Her Shoes). Fox tried to sell it as a romance with George Clooney when it was really more about illusion and loss. Admittedly, it’s not for all tastes, but those who acquire it will find a film that rewards on many levels.
Treasure Planet: Disney’s sci-fi upgrade of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island was a box office disaster and held up as a symbol of all that had gone wrong with Disney animation. Avast, ye swabs! I loved the endlessly imaginative design and great characters like the part hand-drawn part CGI Long John Silver. It was many fathoms better than Titan AE or Disney’s own Atlantis, and I’ll go you one further: I prefer this movie to the live-action Pirates of the Caribbean.
A.I. : We end as we began, with a Stanley Kubrick movie—kind of. Many hated Steven Spielberg’s tribute to Kubrick, who had initiated the project before he died in 1999. When Spielberg took it on, A.I. became something special, because it was like nothing either man had made. This fascinating hybrid doesn’t always work — the Flesh Fair scene proves decisively that Spielberg and death metal do not mix — but shining through it all was the amazing acting of Haley Joel Osment, who gave the best performance of … 2001.
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V for Vendetta
Calling V for Vendetta the best movie of the year means nothing right now, considering 2006 has produced very few films that are even good, much less great.
While I can’t quite call V for Vendetta a truly great movie, it is certainly the first film of 2006 that matters – and it will certainly go down as one of the most misunderstood movies of the year, because pundits will review the politics, not what’s onscreen.
Some have complained that the movie makes terrorists into heroes. Some, like the friend who saw the movie with me, say it’s a giant middle finger to the Bush administration — and I’m using a more polite phrase than he did.
Neither of these statements is completely wrong — but they’re not completely right either. The Alan Moore graphic novel on which it’s based was published in 1988, long before current events were current events.
I prefer to think of the movie as an exciting thriller that just happens to have prescient timing. It is also something even most great comic book movies are not: genuinely disturbing.
V for Vendetta takes place in the near future, when London appears to be in the grip of a dictator (John Hurt) who looks like a cross between Hitler and Big Brother of George Orwell’s 1984. Out of the shadows emerges a renegade named V (Hugo Weaving), wearing a mask with the impassive grin of Guy Fawkes, who attempted to blow up Parliament in 1605.
V saves a young woman named Evey (Natalie Portman) from a band of thugs, dispatching them with cold, ruthless efficiency. What V does not count on is that he will fall for Evey, and she for him, leading to potentially disastrous consequences.
James McTeigue directs with a strong and confident hand, but the true authors of this film are the writers, the Wachowski Brothers, who made the Matrix trilogy. Even though they’re not behind the camera, their fingerprints are all over the visuals, from the eerie depiction of a ruling class to the trippy scene in which a talk show ridicules the dictator to the tune of The Benny Hill Show.
V for Vendetta doesn’t sport the kind of revolutionary effects work or fight scenes that made the original Matrix such a breakthrough. If you’re expecting wall-to-wall action on that level, you might be disappointed. This film is more of a statement against conformity. It’s a heck of a way to tell the audience, “Think for yourself.�
That’s not to say V is a drag, but it is a rarity: an action movie that thinks. Because it’s so cerebral, it doesn’t have quite the emotional power of Batman Begins, Spider-Man 2 or The Hulk, which seems to keep popping up in this blog. When it comes to comic book movies, the mainstream titles appeal to me more than the cult ones like Spawn or Hellboy, though V is the best of the lot, after Sin City. It also helps that V isn’t as philosophically windy as the Matrix movies – and yes, that includes the first one.
Portman’s moving performance gives the movie much-needed warmth. Her work reminded me most of her first movie, The Professional, in which she also fell under the tutelage of an assassin/mentor. Considering Weaving (AKA Agent Smith) has only his voice and body language at his disposal, he gets a ton of mileage out of them.
Initially, though, V for Vendetta will be most remembered for its message. People may not agree on what V for Vendetta has to say, but whatever they think it is, this is a film that ought to inspire conversation far beyond that famous “whoa� the Wachowskis came up with earlier.
GRADE: A-
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St. Patrick’s movie picks
Put your mind’s ear to work and imagine this entire post delivered in a thick Irish brogue.
Yes, me laddies and lassies, since St. Patrick’s day is almost here, I present to you a list of Irish-themed films with more charms than a box of pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds and purple horseshoes.
In (mostly) alphabetical order:
The Commitments: “Don’t you get it, lads? The Irish are the blacks of Europe. And Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland. And northsiders are the blacks of Dublin. So say it once, say it loud, I’;m black and I’m proud.” Absolutely infectious story of white Irish kids who form a soul band.
Little Nellie Kelly: This is one of Judy Garland’s lesser-known vehicles, but it has many high points, not the least of which are the songs including “It’s a Great Day for the Irish”and her lively take on “Singin; in the Rain.” This is not readily available on video, so look for it on Turner Classic Movies.
My Left Foot: This story particularly moves me, because like its subject, the poet Christy Brown, I have cerebral palsy. But I defy anyone not to moved by this film and particularly by the great performances of Hugh O’; Connor and Oscar-winner Daniel Day-Lewis as Christy.
The Quiet Man: Few directors were as proudly Irish as the great John Ford, and this may be literally the greenest movie ever made outside of the Emerald City scenes in The Wizard of Oz. John Wayne improbably makes a convincing Irishman who returns home to woo the raven-haired Maureen O’Hara.
The Secret of Roan Inish: The ever-eclectic John Sayles wrote and directed this gem of movie about a young girl who learns that an ancestor of hers married a selkie - a seal that can turn into a human. Truly unique.
Finally, The Fugitive isn’t really an Irish movie, but it does have that chase scene through a St. Patrick’s Day parade, and it boasts one of my favorite movie lines of all time: “If they can dye the river green today, why can’t they dye it blue the other 364 days of the year?”
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Malice for ‘Dallas’
So it seems Hollywood’s never-ending quest to make every small-screen endeavor into a big-screen endeavor has extended to making a movie out of Dallas. Slated to star are John Travolta as J.R., Luke Wilson as Bobby, Shirley MacLaine as Miss Ellie and (gulp) Jennifer Lopez as Sue Ellen.
Aw, c’mon guys…. We had the Dukes movie last year, with the Dallas movie coming up….what’s next, Falcon Crest: The Epic? Might as well plunder the entire Friday CBS prime-time schedule of 20 years ago while we’re at it!
I mean, seriously, who’s the audience for this? People who watched Dallas back in its heyday have moved on to Desperate Housewives, and the filmmakers aren’t going to get teens to see the movie unless they do something stupid like casting Tara Reid in the Charlene Tilton role and in a tight outfit.
I guess they could camp it up with all kinds of self-referential jokes, but therein lies two paths: the surprisingly clever Brady Bunch movie, or the not-so-surprisingly wretched Bewitched or The Dukes of Hazzard.
I can’t say my hopes are high, given that the director is Robert Luketic, who has slipped from the very entertaining Legally Blonde to the sort-of amusing Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! to the regrettable Monster-in-Law.
Maybe the best idea would be not only to shoot J.R. but to have the whole movie be somebody’s bad dream.
Am I wrong? Does the world really need a Dallas movie? Or even want one?
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Home (Re) Viewing: Oscar-Fest
Two of this year’s Oscar nominees come to DVD today, and both are well worth watching.
Good Night, and Good Luck: Being a journalist, I expected to love this movie unconditionally, so I was somewhat surprised to find I only liked it an awful lot. Writer-actor-director George Clooney’s recreation of legendary journalist Edward R. Murrow’s tangle with the legendarily paranoid Sen. Joseph McCarthy clocks in at some 90 minutes. Since it tackles such a monumental subject in such a short time, I came away feeling undernourished. In a way, though, that’s a compliment because I wanted to see more of such sterling acting and craftsmanship. Clooney has said he’d like to transition from acting to directing; this film definitively proves he is ready. GRADE: A-
Factoid: At least one audience member complained that the actor playing McCarthy was chewing the scenery — but that’s no actor. McCarthy appears entirely via archival footage.
A History of Violence: You can read more of my review at the link, but I will repeat here that this was one of the best and most striking films of 2005. It was called one of David Cronenberg’s more mainstream films, and I guess it is, compared to, say, something like his movie called Crash — NOT to be confused with this year’s Oscar winner. Otherwise, this bears all the Cronenberg hallmarks: weird and not for all tastes, but not to be forgotten by anyone who sees it. GRADE: A
Also out today: The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio
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First review OF Sir Critic
While Googling on the web last night, I was surprised to find that my little blog, which is only a week old, has been reviewed for the first time. (Scroll about 3/4ths down. Warning to sensitive eyes: profanity abounds.)
The site in question is a New York film scene-centered blog on Movie City News, a very informative if occasionally too snarky index of various links to movie news all around the web.
I’ll let you all dope out what exactly his assessment means, but I’m intrigued by this comment: “General Tone: Folksy Midwestern twang. Also, tedium.”
So I have a folksy, Midwestern twang, do I? Interesting. I’ve been told before that I have a Southern drawl when I talk, but I didn’t think that was conveyed through my typing too. Anybody care to tell me where they think the “twang” is in my writing?
As for that “tedium” comment, well — I could pretend that refers to my reactions to those sleep-inducing montagezzzz during the Oscars. Or it might be your typical “big-city boy thumbs his nose at red-headed country kid” vibe — never mind that my hair’s not red, and when it comes to city versus country, I’ll take the city, thank you very much. I’m with Woody Allen in that I don’t care to sleep on the ground with spiders the size of Buicks.
In any event, I thank The Reeler for taking a look at my new little venture here, even if he wasn’t altogether impressed. I can take it. But I still think The Hulk’s not as bad as everyone says it is. So there, puny blogger!
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Failure to Launch indeed!
Oh my god, I can’t stand it. This is just TOO easy!
I almost don’t need to rip apart Failure to Launch. The title practically does that all by itself.
Sure, there have been other titles that were easy targets: Nothing but Trouble. What’s the Worst That Could Happen? Heck, even Alfred Hitchcock knew he was taking a risk when he named his 1963 thriller The Birds.
But putting the word “failure� in the title virtually begs us critics to slam it. They might as well make the movie’s tagline “Pan me.�
So I’ll oblige.
This romantic “comedyâ€? is so leaden that only Superman couldn’t see through it. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey make attractive leads, but they’re not the highlight of their own movie. Oops.
Parker plays an intervention consultant hired by McConaughey’s parents because McConaughey is 35 years old and still hasn’t left home. Parker plans to pretend to like McConaughey to get him to strike out on his own.
So will the couple fall in love? Are cell phones in movie theatres annoying?
Actually, the problem isn’t so much that the plot is predictable. Most romantic comedies are. These are the more pressing problems: Director Tom Dey paces the movie so sluggishly that 90 minutes seem like 150, the screenplay huffs and puffs to work up some laughs, and the main couple is thoroughly overshadowed by the supporting players.
I enjoyed the loony antics of Kathy Bates (as McConaughey’s mom), Zooey Deschanel and Justin Bartha (the buddies/sidekicks) much more than Parker and McConaughey. Deschanel in particular has a unique knack for comic timing. She’s always fun to watch, making good movies like Elf better and bad movies like this one at least somewhat tolerable.
Even the attractive or funny actors can do little with a screenplay that resorts to animal bites not once, not twice, but THREE times. Did one of the writers know an animal wrangler or an animatronics technician?
Undoubtedly, some people will want to see this movie thinking it looks cute. But I have four words that should automatically erase any desire to see this mess.
Terry Bradshaw gets naked.
If that doesn’t work, nothing will.
Grade: C-
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Coming Attractions 3/10
This week’s new movies bring us a little romance, a little horror, and a lot of fur.
Failure to Launch: Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey star in one of the most unfortunately titled movies ever. Review forthcoming Friday.
The Hills Have Eyes: The 232nd remake of a cult horror classic in the past year refashions Wes Craven’s 1977 film. Given how good (cough) most of these remakes are, I’m inclined to head for some other hills. From the director of High Tension.
The Shaggy Dog: Disney once again plunders its past with Tim Allen getting batted around a lot. Given the awful tagline of “raise the woof,” I’m thinking this is another badly titled movie. I’m taking bets now on when Disney remakes The Cat from Outer Space, since they already did two versions of That Darn Cat.
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Wherefore Sir Critic?
My friend Scott suggested at this blog’s first post (all the way back here) that I explain, “Why Sir Critic?”
Well, the answer could be that I’m really a knight of the British empire. But I’m not.
Or it could be that I was really fond of the Peanuts character Marcie, who called Peppermint Patty “sir” all the time. I liked Marcie, but that’s not why either.
No, Sir Critic came about in 1991 when I was reviewing movies for Wright State’s student newspaper, The Guardian. I had just seen The Fisher King, one of my favorite movies of that year. This wonderfully weird Terry Gilliam film included a lot of talk of knights and medieval times, and it had such a powerful impact on me, I thought it would be fun to write the review from the standpoint of a knight called Sir Phil M. Critic.
(Interesting coincidence: My dad’s name is Phil.)
I wrote, “…just as Sir Critic believed he was completely satisfied with the film, he noticed two dreadful-looking forms heading straight for him. ‘Zounds!’ he exclaimed. ‘Those are the dragons of rational thought — the ones who conspire to strip my opinions of all their positiveness!”
The “dragons” put up a good fight and forced me to admit the film had some flaws, but I still prevailed in the end because the film won me over.
Readers loved the review, people took to calling me Sir Critic, and the name stuck. It’s been my online identity ever since. Another of my friends, a graphic designer, even made me a nifty Sir Critic sign that I display at my desk.
All this, and I don’t even own a sword. But you know what they say about the pen being mightier. Although wait a minute … I don’t use a pen to write this blog.
The keyboard is mightier than the sword?
Zounds! It rhymes, but it just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?
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Stone-cold kisses
So Sharon Stone says she “would kiss just about anybody” to end the Israel-Arab conflict.
(Insert thoughtful pause here)
You know, I’m sure that Sharon is being sincere and all, and it’s a lovely thought. But her timing is really interesting when her next movie is a sequel to Basic Instinct.
So, um, just what KIND of kiss do you mean, Sharon?
I’m glad of one thing, anyway. At least the Stone in question turned out to be Sharon and not Oliver.
Permalink | Comments (1) | Categories: Celebrities
Home (Re) Viewing: Potter, Jarhead, etc.
There’s an interesting trio new in video stores this week, and I don’t mean just those Potter kids.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Harry’s fourth adventure isn’t quite his best (I vote for Azkaban), but it runs a close second. Director Mike Newell, best known for light comedies like Four Weddings and a Funeral, proves surprisingly adept at directing action; Harry’s tussle with a dragon is especially spectacular, as is the opening Quidditch match. My only significant complaint is it’s a smidgen long, with characters like Rita Skeeter that add little to the story. As ever, the three lead kids are great fun to watch — I hope they stay for the duration of the series. GRADE: A-
Howl’s Moving Castle: It’s not quite up to the best work of Hayao Miyazaki (that would be Spirited Away), but even slightly less than top-notch Miyazaki remains amazing, and like nothing else in animation. If you haven’t seen his work before, brace yourself for something truly unique and singularly wondrous. GRADE: A
Jarhead: Too many critics unjustly attacked this Gulf War drama, saying that nothing happens in it. Umm…that’s the point. Sam Mendes’ underrated film is about how inaction eats away at the soldier’s mind when the soldier has been trained to kill. Admittedly, it’s a bit emotionally remote, and those expecting a shoot-em-up will be disappointed, but this movie deserves another look—or even a first look. Strong perfs by Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Sarsgaard and Jamie Foxx help, as do the memorable images crafted by Mendes and his ace cameraman, Roger Deakins. GRADE: A-
CATALOG TITLES
The Shaggy Dog: Just in time for Friday’s remake with TIm Allen, Disney reissues the original with Fred MacMuuray. Ah, synergy at the Mouse house that will most likely reveal how much better Walt did it.
Controversial Classics Vol. 2: My fellow film blogger Zack last week pointed out here that Network is available in a new 2-DVD edition. Ah, but there’s more. The deities at Warner Home Video have issued this box set, which includes Network, All The President’s Men and Dog Day Afternoon, all great movies and all issued in those terrific special editions Warner does better than anyone else.
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Sorry Sequels
So Entertainment Weekly magazine has cranked out yet another one of its infamous lists, this time ranking The 25 Worst Sequels Ever.
Now I agree with some of these. Star Trek V? Beam me up from William Shatner’s awful direction! Speed 2: Cruise Control? HA! Try Running on Fumes. The Fly II? Squish. Batman and Robin? To quote actual dialogue from the movie, “BOMB!!!! BOMB!!!” And heck, I think the entire Friday the 13th series should take up the bulk of the list.
Too many of these choices really belong on a “Most Disappointing” list. Sofia Coppola aside, Godfather III actually holds up better than most people remember. Same with Phantom Menace. Even with Jar Jar Binks, no movie with a sequence as cool as the pod race or the light saber duel with Darth Maul belongs on a worst-of list. The Matrix sequels aren’t that bad either. These movies just commit the unpardonable sin of not being in the same class as the originals.
I’d much rather watch those movies than some of these stinkers:
Jaws 3-D: Watch everyone flee from the giant styrofoam fin!
Lara Croft Tomb Raider — The Cradle of Life: Speaking of sharks, Lara fends one off by socking it in the mouth. Sure.
A View to a Kill: Not technically a sequel, but as an entry in a continuing series, this is Bond at his nadir. Repeat after me: 007 does NOT trip over railroad tracks!
Superman 4: — The Quest for Peace: Great galaxies! KRYPTONITE!
Look Who’s Talking Now: About 15 minutes in, my best friend turned to me and said “Do you need to see any more?” No, I didn’t. One of the only movies I have ever walked out on. And I have seen:
Bad Boys 2: Not merely worthless, but crass, senseless, offensive and immoral. I could have taken 10 showers and still not felt clean.
What are some of your least favorites?
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Final thoughts
For those of you keeping score — or I guess those of you who weren’t keeping score — I scored 16 out of 24, for 66 percent. Not one of my better years.
Although since three of those predictions were the short films, in which I was going on pure guesswork, I think I’ll discount those three misses and improve my average to 16 out of 21 for 76 percent. There, I feel better!
I missed:
Best Picture — Crash not Brokeback
Original Score — Brokeback not Geisha
Best Song — Pimp not Travellin (Hey, sounds like another song title!)
Sound Mixing—Kong, not Cash
Cinematography: Geisha, not Brokeback
Thank you very much to everyone who logged in and commented. I had great fun live blogging for the first time, even with a fairly lousy show. So Good Night…and Good Luck.
(Had to be said)
Permalink | Comments (1) | Categories: Oscars Sunday Night
The Good…the Bad…and Oscar’s ugly
My thoughts on the show? Definitely a mixed bag, with more chaff than wheat.
THE GOOD
As much as I dislike Gil Cates, if it was his idea to resurrect the showing of actual CLIPS (instead of trailers) for the Best Picture nominees, then kudos to him. Clips represent the movies much better, since we see trailers on TV all the time. They tell us NOTHING about the films.
THE BAD
The ENDLESS montages. Usually, I really like clip-fests if they’re done well. But there were simply TOO MANY of them, and they added NOTHING to the show except length. Gil Cates makes such a show about about keeping the speeches short, and then he throws 4 or 5 montages at us!. Three words: Pot. Kettle. Black.
I will stop short of saying Jon Stewart was bad—I think he did the best he could given all the sub-par material —but he was clearly out of his element.
THE UGLY
The MUSIC! That awful, AWFUL musical wallpaper that swamped every single speech with a sea of sap! That may have been the WORST producing decision since Alan Carr got Snow White and Rob Lowe together. And even that was hilariously bad!
Why they keep asking Cates back completely mystifies me….whenever someone else handles the show, I have always enjoyed it more. I agree with my best friend and fellow film buff Scott Copeland, who says Cates ought to take a tip from the Golden Globes, which are always more fun to watch because Dick Clark’s team doesn’t strait-jacket everyone.
Actually, I have even better advice for Cates—-learn how to quit us, will ya?
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The upset has….upset!
Wow! Well, sort of wow. A surprise but not really a surprise, because I knew Crash did have a chance….and yet I didn’t really think it would quite win the race.
And so it has. I’m happy for the filmmakers….it’s always nice to play the underdogs…and even nicer for an underdog to win…..
But I am also sad because while Crash was very good, Brokeback was extraordinary. And some of the Brokeback detractors will no doubt use this as an excuse to say that Hollywood shouldn’t make films like it.
Which is balderdash, of course. Crash may have that gold statue, but Brokeback became part of the culture. It may not be as well remembered, but that is the more important victory.
Eric
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Best Director
And the other nominee I was rooting for is an Oscar winner! Ang Lee is a filmmaker with a wonderfully diverse palette and a heck of an endearing guy….and you know what? Hulk’s not a bad movie at all!
I will steal a line from Glenn Kinnney of Premiere….nobody doesn’t like Ang Lee.
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Screenplays
Absolutely no surprise in either of these. Loved McMurtry’s comment about keeping books alive.
I thought Crash was somewhat overrated but it did have some good, thoughtful writing.
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Best Actress
REESE! JUNE! REESE! JUNE!
YES! YES! YES!!! I TOLD everyone it was her over Felicity!
Can ya tell I have a thing for Reese? Heck, I even recommended Legally Blonde 2! (Hey…it looked like a classic after the Charlie’s Angels sequel!)
Sweet, teary speech by Reese…thank you Gil, for letting her finish.
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Cinematography
One of my favorite tech categories….I’ve always been fascinated by this field.
Le sigh….the pretty film gets another one….I can’t say it’s undeserving, because it IS a gorgeous film….but Brokeback was goregeouser, to mangle the language a bit.
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Best Actor
EVERY one of these nominees would be a deserving winner, but there can be only one, and it IS Truman Capote. I wasn’t quite as high on the film as some other folks, but Hoffman was faultless. One can only wonder what Truman would say…
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Foreign Language
Few may know these movies, and I have not seen the winner, but I love these kind of heartfelt speeches. Besides Altman, his was the best of the night.
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R.I.P.
Oscar-winner George Clooney leads the tribute to those who have left us….
Teresa Wright….LOVE her
Joe! Ranft! Truly will be missed at Pixar. THANK you for including this gifted story artist and voice actor, who gave life to Heimlich and Wheezy.
Barbara Bel Geddes….best known for Dallas, but truly great in Vertigo….
Ernest Lehman deserved an honorary Oscar for North by Northwest ALONE….
The great Robert Wise…..who is more than just great musicals….
Winner of the applause-o-meter is a toss up between Shelly Winters and Richard Pryor.
Good night, farewell and amen to all.
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Sound Editing
KONG! KONG! KONG! KONG! At least the movie is doing well below the line.
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WHOA!
The first major surprise of the night…..I guess it’s not so hard for a pimp after all! Another one I’m happy to be wrong about! And yes, I typed it BEFORE Jon said it!
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Big pimpin
Get your censor buttons ready, cos “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp!” Believe it or not, this would be my choice for the winner…..the sequence it appears in is electrifying.
Interesting that Tarij. P. Henson is wearing a Seven-Year-Itch dress made famous by Marilyn Monroe….fine perf.
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Robert Altman
One of the truly great directors gets a lengthy and deserved ovation.
“I always though this type of reward meant it was over….then it dawned on me I was in rehearsals for a play…” Bravo, Bob!
“A look at it as a nod to all of my films, and I just made one long film.” BEST line of the night.
No, scratch that…the heart line was the best. My hat is off to one of the masters.
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Meryl and Lily
You know, I bet most of the audience doesn’t get this joke…..but this is the honorary Oscar for Robert Altman, who is very famous for overlapping dialogue in his direction. Meryl and Lily did very well.
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Sound Mixing
Just so you know the difference, sound mixing refers to the overall sound design, sound quality and the stereo mix. Sound Editing refers more specifically to the sound effects.
Kong wins sound mixing, which is a small surprise, I had expected Walk the Line to prevail for its music as Ray did last year, but Kong did sound fantastic. King Kong Kudos!
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ANOTHER Montage
These things are getting ridiculous!
And I’m starting to think Jon may be correct….they are running out of clips to show! Yeesh!
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Best Original Score
And I have my first miss in a category that I actually had some idea about…..but I’m happy to be wrong! Brokeback’s is a tremendous, haunting score….which by the way, should NOT be played at double speed with violin as the lead, even with a virtuoso like Itzahk Perlman!
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Best Art Direction
Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock….no Speed 3, I hope!
And Geisha wins yet again….I would have preferred Kong, but I can’t complain….Geisha was very pretty, if petrifying.
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Best Documentary Short/Feature
And another category that is pure and total guesswork on my part. Tip for next year….do NOT include the shorts on your ballot, Eric!
I feel a draft coming in…..some penguins are about to be winners!
STUFFED penguins, no less! Call PETA!
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Montage malaise
I love film noir, but darn it all, what did that have to do with ANYTHING? Not only has it not shown the great Lauren Bacall at her best, but it wasted time. Gil Cates needs to go.
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Best Supporting Actress
Rachel Weisz wins….most deserved, even if I did prefer Amy Adams. But hey, now Rachel’s baby has a new toy!
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Rachel McAdams
One day, Rachel, I’m quite certain you will go from handing out techie awards to being an above-the-line nominee yourself.
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Makeup
Will Ferrell and Steve Carrel….the worst thing about Bewitched, and THE BEST thing about Bewitched….
The makeup gag is pretty amusing, I will admit.
Why is this Star Wars’ lone nomination?
Narnia wins. Can’t complain too hard. It was a solid job.
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More montagezzzzzz….
You know, if Gil Cates is so bent on saving time, why doens’t he just DITCH these pointless montages (like the “real person” one) instead of rushing the speeches?
I’m just askin….
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Costume Design
As predicted, Geisha wins for having really pretty clothes….I wished I could use them as pillows when I saw this DULL film!
I’m back on track, but true to my (lack of) math skills, I’ve lost count of how I’m doing already.
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Live Action/Animated Short
I rarely know what to make of these, since I rarely see the nominees. Good idea to have the Wilson Bros. do it.
Hilarious Chicken Little bit! YAY!
And I missed them both! WAH!
Yay for hand-drawn animation though.
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Munich
Wow! An actual CLIP of Munich, and a good one to boot! Too often lately they just use trailers, which we’ve already seen anyway….this gives viewers a better sense of what the movie is like. Kudos to Universal for not following the crowd!
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Dolly
It’s Dolly Parton and her invisible band…or did Ben Stiller get his effects to work?
Great performance….Dolly is a hoot. Ever’body clap!
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Animated Film
Excellent choice for a presenter….Reese is one of the most animated actresses out there!
Go inventor and dog!!
So I guess the only winner Cates would want to speak is Gromit since he never says anything!
Yeow! Super-size me bow-ties! Either that or Wallace invented a wayback machine to the 1970s!
3 for 3!
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Best VFX
Cute intro by the Riddler….uh, I mean Ben Stiller!
I’ll go APE if Narnia wins…..the bad kind of ape!
Kong or WotW would be very deserving…..I guess Kong….
(Eric beats his chest mightily)
UGH! STOP THE MUZAK! If we’re going to do this, next year let’s just hold the awards in a giant dentist’s office, and let’s give producer Gil Cates novocaine so he never wakes back up!
Two for two!
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Best Supporting Actor
I’m betting on George….tho I’d like to see Hurt, who has no shot, get it…..
His clip is half his performance!
And it’s…..
George! One for one!
They’ve got the music going already….what are the speeches allowed to be, two seconds??
And tonight’s orchestra leader: MUZAK!
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Monologue-ing!
A bit hit or miss, but solid…..
“Trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot Bjork!” HAR!
The montage…..so is THIS where we got the expression, “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
We’re up to THREE gay cowboy jokes now…..
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My kingdom for a host!
Ok, what started off as a silly gay cowboy joke (number 1) is turning out very clever! GREAT Mel Gibson gag!
They should have ditched the CGI and just run with that!
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CGI opener
Hey look, they let somebody’s cousin create the opening on their iMac!
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Well, at least they’re honest
Oscar Countdown 2005….I know what you’re thinking…I wish I knew how to quit you!
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Good Night and…whoops!
How ironic that they have a technical flub in presenting the movie about TV production!
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Felicity Huffman
Looking fab….and reminding everyone YES…she IS a girl!
Cute Desperate Housewives bit!
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Mushy montage
Now, see, THIS is what I mean by the montages with this country song. Bleah, y’a11!
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Jennifer Aniston
Ya know, I like Jen, I really do…and she looks great…but she’s not proven her worth as a movie star yet. Did anyone SEE Rumor Has it?
Anyone?
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Terrence Howard
No matter what happens tonight…and he could win….he will indeed be back soon!
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George Clooney
A class act…..and it runs in the family, too. Talked to his dad Nick a few years ago when he narrated for the Middletown Symphony.
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Ahhh! Billy!
Billy Bush is more frightening than ANYTHING in that spooky montage!
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The crix…my peeps
Leonard is right…any of the five actors could win and it would be justified.
Joel is right….Reese over Felicity, I don’t care what anyone says.
But Leonard loses his sense of judgment!! See above!
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Wow, a clever pre-show moment!
Usually these montages are a bit monotonous, but this monkey one is clever…and can’t argue with Louis Prima and Phil Harris, man!
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Heath and Michelle
Heath looks nice….Michelle’s face is pretty, but the dress bears an unfortunate resemblance to Big Bird!
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Naomi Watts
Can do without all the frills, but she’s always lovely. And she should have been nominated for Kong, dang it!
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5…4…3….2….
And here we go, folks….hit refresh often for all the amazement, wit, sarcasm and amusement!
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Sir Critic’s Ballot
Ladies and gentlemen,
LIVE, thousands of miles away from the Kodak Theatre in beautiful Hollywood California …. it’s the first Sir Critic Oscar-blogging preshow, coming to you from chilly Southwest Ohio!
(Insert cheesy fanfare here)
OK, so my Oscar pre-show may not be so high on the glamour quotient, but since the show before the awards usually has commentary that’s about as intelligent as the dresses on display, I can at least offer you something practical: my list of predictions.
This way, you can follow along and see either what a seer or a sap I am. Here is what I am predicting.
Best motion picture of the year Brokeback Mountain
Performance by an actor in a leading role Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote
Performance by an actress in a leading role Reese Witherspoon in Walk the Line
Performance by an actor in a supporting role George Clooney in Syriana
Performance by an actress in a supporting role Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardener
Achievement in directing Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
Other categories after the jump…
Adapted screenplay Brokeback Mountain
Original screenplay Crash
Best animated feature film of the year Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Best animated short film 9
Achievement in art direction Memoirs of a Geisha
Achievement in cinematography Brokeback Mountain
Achievement in costume design Memoirs of a Geisha
Achievement in film editing Crash
Original score Memoirs of a Geisha
Original song Travelin’ Thru Transamerica
Best documentary feature March of the Penguins
Best documentary short subject The Mushroom Club
Best foreign language film of the year Tsotsi
Best live action short film Ausreisser (The Runaway)
Achievement in makeup The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Achievement in sound editing King Kong
Achievement in sound mixing Walk the Line
Achievement in visual effects King Kong
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Oscars live tonight
Tonight, follow the Academy Awards with us as Sir Critic blogs during the ceremony, offering immediate riffs, comments and trivia.
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We’d like to introduce …
“Thank you, sir! May I have another?�
Maybe it’s not the most profound movie quote, but the line from “Animal House� is one we think you’ll soon be repeating as your read our new movie blog, “Sir Critic on Cinema.�
Written by Sir Critic — also known as long-time reporter and movie reviewer Eric Robinette — the new blog takes a look at popular new releases, mixed with Robinette’s, sorry, Sir Critic’s take on movies, TV and the world of Hollywood.
While the blog is new, Robinette’s love for movies started with a cartoon — but forget Disney. It was “Yellow Submarine,� the Beatles trippy classic he saw at age 5 in Dayton’s Victory Theatre. “And so a movie buff was born,� Robinette said.
In the mid-80’s, his interest in movies accelerated after he watched Stanley Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey� and “A Clockwork Orange,� plus Martin Scorsese’s “Taxi Driver� and “After Hours.�
“Of course, I was already hooked on Steven Spielberg via “Raiders of the Lost Ark� and “E.T,� he said. “Once I learned to identify these directors’ very distinct styles, the movies had me in their grip for good.�
Robinette, 35, graduated with honors from Wright State University in 1993. He’s written for papers ranging from the Xenia Daily Gazette to the Dayton Daily News, and has worked for the Middletown Journal since 1998.
Along the way, he’s flirted with the online movie world on rottentomatoes.com; met Janet Leigh of “Psycho� fame, as well as critic/historian Leonard Maltin.
“Today my favorites range all the way from “Schindler’s List� to Hitchcock’s “Vertigo� to Gene Kelly not at all minding that it’s raining and even singin’ about it.� Robinette said.
And the top favorite?
“My answer is always the same: great ones, no matter what their genre, subject matter or time period,� he said.
As for blogging — and the chance to get direct feedback from readers — Robinette said he’s remonded of the line from Norma Desmond in “Sunset Blvd: “It’s “just us, the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!
… All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.â€?
