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Sorry Sequels
So Entertainment Weekly magazine has cranked out yet another one of its infamous lists, this time ranking The 25 Worst Sequels Ever.
Now I agree with some of these. Star Trek V? Beam me up from William Shatner’s awful direction! Speed 2: Cruise Control? HA! Try Running on Fumes. The Fly II? Squish. Batman and Robin? To quote actual dialogue from the movie, “BOMB!!!! BOMB!!!” And heck, I think the entire Friday the 13th series should take up the bulk of the list.
Too many of these choices really belong on a “Most Disappointing” list. Sofia Coppola aside, Godfather III actually holds up better than most people remember. Same with Phantom Menace. Even with Jar Jar Binks, no movie with a sequence as cool as the pod race or the light saber duel with Darth Maul belongs on a worst-of list. The Matrix sequels aren’t that bad either. These movies just commit the unpardonable sin of not being in the same class as the originals.
I’d much rather watch those movies than some of these stinkers:
Jaws 3-D: Watch everyone flee from the giant styrofoam fin!
Lara Croft Tomb Raider — The Cradle of Life: Speaking of sharks, Lara fends one off by socking it in the mouth. Sure.
A View to a Kill: Not technically a sequel, but as an entry in a continuing series, this is Bond at his nadir. Repeat after me: 007 does NOT trip over railroad tracks!
Superman 4: — The Quest for Peace: Great galaxies! KRYPTONITE!
Look Who’s Talking Now: About 15 minutes in, my best friend turned to me and said “Do you need to see any more?” No, I didn’t. One of the only movies I have ever walked out on. And I have seen:
Bad Boys 2: Not merely worthless, but crass, senseless, offensive and immoral. I could have taken 10 showers and still not felt clean.
What are some of your least favorites?
Permalink | Comments (4) | Categories: Lists
Comments
By Joan Caldwell
March 9, 2006 1:19 PM | Link to this
Actually I do not have a comment on the “sorry seguels”. My comment is on the writer, sircitic. What a great job on movie reviews.I have been following his reviews for many years. Now that he has this blogging feature and I live in California I am passing it on to acquaintances here in my area. The feedback from them had been nothing but complimentary. Who knows he may one day be sitting out here on Oscar night with the “biggest”. I hope so.By Allison
March 8, 2006 12:46 PM | Link to this
I recently wrote something on bad sequels, and Son of Mask and Dumb and Dumberer topped the list. I was going to say something about Phantom Menace, but I can at least agree with you that the Pod Race and the Darth Maul fight saved it from being a TOTAL stinker. but it still sucked.By SRCputt
March 7, 2006 3:25 PM | Link to this
The Razzie this year for worst sequel went to Son of the Mask, so that bears mentioning. How about one I know Eric hated: Scary Movie 2, a film truly bankrupt of ideas which proceded to get much of its “humor” at the expense of the handicapped. Don’t forget the film Gene Siskel used to cite as the worst of all time: Cannonball Run 2, which wore its contempt for the audience as if it were a badge of honor. How about Beethoven 2, a family film with an attempted date rape? (Try explaining that to your kids.) From series films, the attempts at Pink Panther films without Peter Sellers were just sad. Finally, if the EW list is for disappointing sequels, I’m surprised Die Hard with a Vengeance didn’t make it. A rote, by the numbers sequel missing all the fun of the first 2 Die Hard films.By Zack
March 6, 2006 9:09 PM | Link to this
I am so with you on “Bad Boys 2.” Walked out of that one, myself…